The New Frontier - A Father's WisDUMB

In a world full of confusion, it's hard to find what we need to lead our families well. This can often leave a gap in us and our dad skills. Throughout the year, we want to help you bridge that gap with truth, stories, and time-tested fathering skills. We don't want to father your sons for you; we want to EQUIP YOU to father them. We believe in you and who God has created you to be.

This is why, at the beginning of every month, we offer you some wisdom that we've learned from years of either fathering our sons or being fathered by God. We spell it w-i-s-D-U-M-B because often, the wisdom we've gained is from making the wrong decision and seeing that there is a better Path forward. Some wisDUMB will be short bites to get you thinking. Others will have practical steps you can take with your boy. Whatever it is, we believe they will help you engage and experience all God has for you and your son this year.

Click through the titles in the green menu below for each wisDUMB.

A Letter For Your Son

Not many men get to do an intentional, focused experience like this Journey. It's an incredible opportunity for you to really engage, get to know your son, and speak life over him. There are two journals in your first Adventure Kit (should arrive sometime before Christmas). One is for you; the other is for your son. We encourage you to take your son's journal and write a letter to him based on the prompts below. This isn't a task; just share your heart. It doesn't need to be perfectly curated or superb writing. This letter will mean a lot. Sometimes, what we think is obvious needs to be pointed out. Doing this journey with your son shows what you think of him, but he also needs you to say it. We encourage you to finish this BEFORE January 1st, so when you go through your Adventure Kit together before watching the teaching, you can give it to him.

What are three things you admire, look up to, or love about your son? (These are NOT things that he does. Stick with WHO HE IS: compassionate, loving, good-hearted, etc. WHO HE IS is who God made him to be.)
What is your favorite moment or story with your son? Why? Tell him that story.
What are you most looking forward to this year with your son? Why? Tell him.

Be Present

Whenever you engage in the Heroic Journey from now until August, turn "Do not Disturb" on and give your son your UNDIVIDED ATTENTION. Eye contact. Nod. Repeat what you hear him saying. Show him that you are listening well. The more you do this, the more he will open up to you. Trust us, it means more to him than even he recognizes. How many of you wished you could have had this time with your dad? Or if you did, think about the impact it had on you! Give your presence to your boy.

You must Receive to Give

We must allow God to father us before we can father our sons. Those of you who were not fathered well, or at least imperfectly (which is all of us), know this to be true. We cannot give what we haven't received. So, as you step into the year, allow God to guide you first. Listen to the teachings and really press in during your calibration time. Then, when you meet with your son, you will be able to mentor him better. We understand that one calibration session isn't always long enough for God to root his truth in us, but your son will at least see the seeds of growth and wholeness in you as you lead him. Doing this allows you to lead from a much more authentic and meaningful place.

Head to Heart

In a world where truth is said to be relative and changing, we need a solid foundation, but the mere knowledge of God's truth isn't enough. We need His truth to move from our Head to our Heart (from mere knowledge to active belief). This is why God takes us on adventures, instead of just hammering maxims and quips into our skulls. We must encounter Him and experience His truth before it can transform our lives. As you work through the calibration questions each month, take steps of faith. Be willing to let God lead you to new places, so he can move His truth from your head (knowledge) to your heart (active belief).

Pace Yourself

We want to remind you, baby steps. This journey is a marathon, not a sprint. Journeys happen one step at a time. On a hike, if you keep your head up and look miles ahead, your focus tends to rest on the distance between your position and the destination. After you hyperfixate, anxiety sets in, "How am I ever going to cover this distance! It's too far!" If you are an avid hiker, you know that doesn't get you anywhere. Now, if you focus on the next step in front of you, at some point, you'll look back and say, "Wow, we really did come a long way!" You'll also avoid tripping on every stone, branch, and dip along the trail. This journey is no different. We need to focus on the next step as we find our pace. Our motto for the year takes one out of J. R. R. Tolkien's book, "Little by little, one travels far." We will cover great distances together, but we will do it one step at a time.

Be Aware of your Position on the Path

To know where you are going, you need to know your current location. This is why we calibrate. Calibration is the honest evaluation of our heart's position in relation to God's heart and truth, so we can adjust and set our hearts to him. Calibration with God lets us take each next step on our Journey.

Lay your Expectations Aside

Expectations lead to disappointment and frustration because we don't often have "best" in mind. We are becoming sons of God, but our motives and mindsets are all mixed up. Instead, God calls us to be expectant of his good works. Being expectant is an internal posture that allows God to work the "best" into our journey with our sons, without us getting in the way. He knows what you and your son needs. Put down your expectations, and be expectant of how he will work this year.

Be all In!

God is going to work in unfathomable ways. But to experience his works, you need to be all in. Dads, are you all in- 100%? Are you committed to learning, knowing, pursuing, and fighting for you and your son's hearts? Will you plan each week and intentionally engage without distraction? If you are unwilling to commit to the adventure ahead, you and your son may struggle to be present and enjoy the goodness God offers you. So, what say ye? Commit to being intentional and watch as God works wonders.